"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
