I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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