after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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