You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
