she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
