You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
