We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
