my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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