dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
