If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
