I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
