lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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