The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
