drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
