somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
