epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
