Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
