I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
