So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
