theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
