im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
