I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
