plz talk dirty to me
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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