I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize