They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
