I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
