I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Duck Duck Cougar?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
