i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
