You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize