omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
