Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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