we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
