so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
