we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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