Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Your penis caused this!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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