Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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