So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
