Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
