So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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