Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
