Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
