do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
