Dual....:-)
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
