Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
