And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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