You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize