That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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