His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize