Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize