My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Porn is love you can see.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
