Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
