Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
