I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
