what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
