I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The adults are the big ones right?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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