i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
