Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
