Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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